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Come Back SMS |
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Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be
ugly, and I can diet. |
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Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the
morning?
Woman: Unfertilized. |
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down. |
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Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those
pants. |
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Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is... |
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Do you notice how I've kept my youthful
complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty |
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine. |
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Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry |
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Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone. |
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Friend: I've just come back from the
Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed... |
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Man: Please whisper those 3 little words
that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell |
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Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better? |
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Boss: Employees like that don't grow on
trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them... |
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Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before... |
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator. |
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Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some
place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore. |
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Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic. |
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Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away! |
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Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my
looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes |
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Work Colleague: Do you find me
entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought |
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Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man:
Well it would certainly improve the view in here... |
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You know, I've been asked to get married
over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don't count... |
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How many people work in your office?
About half of them |
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Brother: I love biscuits
You: That's cuz your crackers |
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You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange
student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice. |
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