|
Erotic Jokes |
|
|
|
COVER ME
|
|
What did
the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'
|
|
|
|
TITS DAIRY
|
|
I'd
willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From
the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn
into a dairy. |
|
|
|
BLOW JOB |
|
What did the hurricane say to
the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job! |
|
|
|
SAGGY BOOB
|
|
What did
one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support
people are going to think we're nuts! |
|
|
|
DUMB
|
|
What is
the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no
brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an
asshole! |
|
|
|
RING
|
|
I wish I
were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her
rear I'd see the promised land.... |
|
|
|
BRUSH MY
TEETH
|
|
I love the
way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy
liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my
teeth |
|
|
|
STUPID PYJAMAS
|
|
Last night I desperately missed
you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without
you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....! |
|
|
|
PENIS &
BALLS
|
|
Penis &
Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never
bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep
vomiting! |
|
|
|
GLOW IN
THE DARK
|
|
I really,
deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in
the dark |
|
|
|
SNOW WHITE
|
|
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was
reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted,
'LIE BASTARD LIE' |
|
|
|
WE CAN
MULTIPLY
|
|
Do you
like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
|
|
|
|
VIAGRA
|
|
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of
May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical
name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you |
|
|
|
BAR STOOL
|
|
How do you
keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.
|
|
|
|
DEPRESSED
|
|
A girl
asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every
morning they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the
same? |
|
|
|
CARS
|
|
Man1: my
wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...'
Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank pls.'
|
|
|
|
SEX ON
TEXT
|
|
Press
down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah
oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
|
|
|
|
SEX
MACHINE
|
|
When im
dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone
will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.
|
|
|
|
LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG
|
|
What did the blonde's left leg
say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. |
|
|
|
SHOWTIME
|
|
Wat's the
diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain,
it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S
SHOWTIME!
|
|
|
|
COCUNUT
|
