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Indecent Jokes |
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23 useless things in a man's body
20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse |
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Advantages of breast milk
A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE |
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BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
GIRL : If we become engaged will you
give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? |
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Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's
temtation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you
understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration? |
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Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my
eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
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Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip
u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me out, pull my nipples til i shout
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Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous,
good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How
about you? |
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I went for a walk with my uncle jim, when
somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin..... |
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NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000
dead...U.S.A sending money, France sending food, Britain sending
replacement paki's!!! |
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Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty
Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid
the slut down & fucked her again! |
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I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased
me till i had an Erikson, sucked me till my face went Orange, till
busted my Siemen all over her Nokias! |
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RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze +
massage milk pots,check frequently with midfinger,add banana,work in-out
till well |
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Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks
in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no
chicks found. conclusion, your are gay! |
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According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS
Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room
4.VAGINA-men's room 5.ANUS-emergency room |
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A girl phoned me the other day and
said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home
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Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz
the good ones are always taken and the rest are all disabled! |
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What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy
boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
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I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in
my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get under the cover together.. 2
show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark |
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Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a
panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But
pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME! |
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Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant
man paid to see her.
Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind
let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem
defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.
Don't be sad... don't feel blue...
Frankenstein was ugly too... |
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This sms can only be read by a SEXY person:
Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont
force it, ugly git!! |
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Pringles |
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Sex is like a pack of Pringles!
Once you pop, you can't stop!! |
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The Truth |
QUESTION)Wots the difference
between ur job & ur girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur job
always sucks!!!!! |
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Question Time |
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock! |
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Virginity |
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Virginity is like a balloon,
one prick and it's gone forever! |
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Little Girl |
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When i was a girl,i had a
little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger in,now im a woman & full of
grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!! |
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Love & War |
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LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down
and i'll blow the shit out of you! |
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Rainbow |
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Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle
havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it
up Bungles bum! |
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Life is like a dick |
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Life is like a dick! When it's
hard Fuck it! |
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satisfy a woman |
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HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress,
excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console,
worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job |
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Triplets or Twins |
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I want triplets, You want
twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins! |
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Cocktail |
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Is it d whiskey dat makes u
frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip
in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum! |
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Cocktail |
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Is
it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u
randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum! |
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Triplets or Twins |
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I
want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins! |
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satisfy a woman |
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HOW
2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss,
rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.HOW 2 SATISFY
A MAN; blow job |
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Life
is like a dick |
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Life
is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it! |
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Rainbow |
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Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got
silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum! |
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Love
& War |
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LETS
PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you! |
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Little Girl |
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When
i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a finger
in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get 4fingers in &
HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!! |
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Virginity |
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Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever! |
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Question Time |
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock! |
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The
Truth |
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?
ANSWER)ur
job always sucks!!!!! |
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Pringles |
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Sex
is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!! |
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Marriage |
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A
man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a
rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID
HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits! |
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Getting Old |
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U NO
UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo |
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Baby
Please |
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Of
all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my teeth are clean for
ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue injection! |
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Pair
of tights? |
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HOW
MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS? 10 little piggies,2
calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1 smelly fish! |
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Sex+drugs |
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Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed
+little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u
die,so fuck em all & lets get high! |
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Men
like toilets |
Y
MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
2)dey stink
3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)dey consume large amounts of liquid
5)r constantlt full of shit! |
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Mary's bush |
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Mary
Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!! |
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Horny |
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Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it
makes me so HORNY!!! |
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5
bad things |
5
BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY
1)so dis explains ur car!
2)but still work,right?
3)r u cold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird! |
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Hickory, dickory, dock |
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Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock
struck 2,i dumped me go,& dropped her at da end of da block |
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Mary
had a little lamb |
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Mary
had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her
panties off,his wooly dick got hard! |
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Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater |
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Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked
her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed! |
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Being a student |
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Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv
tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate
in hot oral sex! |
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Down
on her Knees |
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Shes
down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her
gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin
a fuckin good job! |
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Cat
and the Sausage |
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A
cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws
wet,then it sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The
bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy! |
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Oral sex |
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Oral
sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den
u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and
start again! |
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Mary's bike |
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Mary
had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels
went round the spokes went up her cunt |
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NewsFlash |
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*NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000
tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY!
Its A bloody good deal ! |
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Nutella |
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I
love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all
. Love always , Nutella. |
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U
and the Pope |
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do u
know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope
geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get
laid, its a miracle!! :) |
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Old
Days |
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in
days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt invented they
tied socks around their cocks + people like u were prevented. |
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Sex,
Drugs + Birthcontrol |
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Sex,
Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
lifes a bitch, then u die,
so fuck the world
lets get high. |
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Kiss
Me |
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Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r
tasted, kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im
vacinated! |
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How
many letters |
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How
many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET went Home
on a UFO and the FBI went after him! |
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My
Roof? |
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last
night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and
the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof?? |
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Foot
and Mouth |
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mary
had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field
right now cos its got foot and mouth |
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Blondes |
What
is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop |
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Operator |
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This
is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to
use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it
. Thank you |
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Blonde Womens legs |
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what
did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens right
leg? don't know they never met! |
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